Everyone seems to be talking about cutting back. Cutting back on calories, cutting back on wine, cutting back on spending, cutting back on work, even quiet quitting, which I tried a little. Cutting back is good, but then there's a voice that says, No, Do more! and I become confused. What is all this supposed to mean? I remember telling my kids they had no excuses to do less. They had full bellies and a loving home and everything they needed - no need to do less with all they had. I have the same privilege, so how can I cut back, and still follow my own advice. What's my excuse for doing less?
While I am trying to cut back on social media, I started following this wonderful gardener on Instagram who visits random (seemingly) gardens and offers just a bit of advice on how to care for things. One thing in gardening that is perplexing to me is how to care for hydrangeas. Some you are supposed to cut back, like way back. And so I've hacked away at these 3 bushes we have and each year they grow bigger and stronger. I don't think there's anything I could do to stop them. When I applied the same principles to the other hydrangeas, they didn't bloom, they suffered. Last year, I moved them to the side of the house where they wouldn't get as much sun. I hoped that would help, but checking on them yesterday, I'm just not so sure. So anyway, my friend, Jess, (I act like I know these people) over at youcandoitgardening.com on instagram, taught me how to Cut Back. You don't cut off the buds. I don't know who coined the phrase "Nip it in the bud" but that's basically the idea. You cut right to the bud, no more, just a nip. So I tried it. We'll see how it goes this summer. I'm also planning on rearranging a few things in the garden to give everybody a little more space, every flower needs room to grow.
I think it's the same in our lives. What and where and when and how do we cut back? I don't really need to cut calories - I've been doing some intermittent fasting, but Lent reminded me to save that just for Fridays. Ah, that feels better already. Cut back on wine? Sure, but when you want a glass, have a glass. Cut back on social media, yes. But watch the gardening videos for advice. Cut back on television and movies, yes. But go to the library and stock up on books for the rainy weekend ahead. (BTW, remember when we could go to the library or video store and just pick a dvd and bring it home and watch it? Now we spend more of our Friday nights scrolling through Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Apple than we do acutally watching anything. Just had to throw that in there. I definitely want to cut that back.) It's so important that we don't over cut. That we trim just what needs to be trimmed so that growth can continue. We prune. Don't cut off the buds that are growing.
When we visited Jay, we saw how he is doing Everything! We met the guy at the corner store who he buys his coffee from each day. We met the guys from his 2 (two!) ice hockey teams. We saw the office. We saw the places where he likes to run. We took his friends to dinner and he apologized that we didn't get to meet more of them. While I can see he is doing it all, and I am so happy for him, it made me a little sad. Just cut back, I want to say. But I already taught him that thing about no excuses. So instead I told him that I am glad he has everything in balance. He plays as hard as he works, he finds time to be alone as much as he finds time to be with friends. He finds time to be by the ocean and time to be in the mountains. I hope he hears my new message, that Balance is key. You cut back on what isn't necessary, but you allow room for growth.
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