Skip to main content

Consolation and Desolation

 I went to a Jesuit college, where I met my husband. There is a lot of Jesuit experience in our family: my dad went to Jesuit college, my husband's grandfather taught at a Jesuit university, three of our kids went to Jesuit schools. But sometimes I learned the most about the Jesuits when others would say to me, "Well, you know what the Jesuits say..." and they would share something I never heard before. This even happened at the doctor's office, where my doctor had gone to a Jesuit school. It's an interesting dynamic that bonds us to each other, knowing we experienced Jesuit training. Anyway, one of those concepts is the Spiritual Exercises written by Saint Ignatius. I wanted to share this exercise of Consolation and Desolation today because it's ringing true for me. 

Consolation is a time when we feel full of love toward ourselves, toward others, toward the world itself. Desolation is the absence of those feelings, and the absence of love. 

'Desolation’ is the name I give to everything contrary to what is described [as consolation]; for example, darkness and disturbance in the soul, attraction to what is low and of the earth, disquiet arising from various agitations and temptations. All this leads to a lack of confidence in which one feels oneself to be without hope and without love. One finds oneself thoroughly lazy, lukewarm, sad and as though cut off from one’s Creator and Lord. For just as consolation is contrary to desolation, in the same way, the thoughts that spring from consolation are contrary to the thoughts that spring from desolation. [317] -Quotes from ‘The Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola’ translated by Michael Ivens SJ (Gracewing, 2004)

What to do? When I went for spiritual direction with a Jesuit priest, he taught me to bask in the consolation periods of my life. Hold onto those moments of love and goodness to get us through the rough patches. We seek to console ourselves gently, to remind ourselves that we are loved, to remind ourselves that God loves us, just as we are - despite the flaws and failures and flailing in the wind. 

Not too long ago, a friend invited me to North Carolina to go to the beach. I needed some consolation. It was so peaceful to walk along the water's edge and just bask in the warmth, what little warmth there was still felt like consolation. Sun, exercise, prayer, long walks and long talks do a body good and do the soul even better. I came home feeling healed. Here are some pictures that I took down there. They look like such opposites. One feels like it might be consolation and one feels like it might be desolation. But I'm not sure that's true. Even the darkness holds some light. Which one speaks to you today?

I wish you Consolation today, even if just for a few moments.  



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What Is Grief?

 What is grief? It is standing in the shower and  you are suddenly crying and then you are sobbing. And you barely thought about it in the two days since you heard  your Uncle Rich passed. You thought about your dad and your cousins and your aunt and how sad they must be and you checked in on your dad. "I'm so so sorry." And you went to work and you did what you had to do. And now you are ready for another day and you are thinking of all the things and then you are crying and you are little again and vulnerable  and your heart hurts. And you remember everyone. Medford Lakes and a swimming pool and laughing so hard  and dancing around a Christmas tree and fireworks by the lake at night. And you can see his face and all their faces smiling Aunts and uncles and cousins and brothers who aren't here. And you remember his voice, deep and laughing, and you remember his kindness and his advice. "Are you taking vitamin C, Joannie?" You see all their faces and you mis
6 comments
Read more

Home for Christmas

  Dear College Kid and Post-Grads,  Welcome Home! You are finally here! And we are so happy to welcome you. It's been a long semester. You've faced trials and tribulations. You still need to meet your own benchmarks and others you've exceeded. But it's over now. For now, you must rest. For now, you are released from your duties and obligations for studying and group projects. You don't have to worry about homework and practice and when to wake up and when to eat. You are home. You can sleep until noon. We are here to love you back to health and wellness and give you that unmistakable feeling of home.  Some things haven't changed here at home. There will be bacon and eggs for breakfast and we will get cream donuts from McMillan's tomorrow. We will have bagels and cream cheese one morning. Some things are new to us. We will order the meat lover's pizza. We will make room on the shelf for your protein powder. Some things have changed. We painted the front d
Post a Comment
Read more

Tomorrow We Will Make Coffee

We are all searching for guarantees.  The guarantee on shipping from our website order, the guarantee on the newly-purchased mattress, the guarantee that when we wake up the electricity will still be on, the guarantee that the weather will get nicer soon, the guarantee that my car will still be parked where I left when I get back, the guarantee of a healthy pregnancy, the guarantee of an easy child.  All the things we expect at the beginning of the day to go our way, the meeting, the conference call, the sales pitch, the ruling, the game, the score.  I see people searching for schools, looking for a guarantee that the choices they make, the selection of this school over that school, will guarantee that their child will thrive, be successful, and maybe happy.  They want the guarantee.  They expect it when they walk in, as if they were going to a car wash, that the car will be perfectly cleaned when it comes out the other end.  As if kicking the tires will guarantee the purchase they mak
7 comments
Read more