Being In Person

I recently facilitated a workshop on Mindfulness.  Mindfulness is the practice of cultivating the art of being present, breathing, living, thinking in the moment.  It also has a lot to do with being available to the people we are with at a given time in a given place. I have been a student of mindfulness for about 12 years. When I walked into the room where I was to present, the table around which we would sit was far away from the computer screen, almost across the room.  The director offered to move the table closer to the screen for me, but I said no. I wanted space for us to move and sit and be separated from the technology pieces of the workshop. It worked. We all had space to sit and breathe and write and move back and forth.  We also had space to sit together when we were practicing our meditations. When it was time to share we all naturally gravitated toward the center of the floor where we could see each other and be closer. It is important to be “in person,” to be close. It worked well to see each other face to face instead of having our focus forced on staring up at a monitor screen.  Being in person is natural.

That afternoon I had paperwork to take care of at school as well.  I could easily have printed and scanned and emailed, but I decided to walk around.  Walking the halls of a vacated school when summer vacation has just begun is a meditation in itself.  There is still a hum in the air of all the excitement of the last few days. It is quiet now, and the halls are darkened, but there’s an aliveness in this cocooning stage.  The artwork still hangs, if a bit crookedly. The remnants of the final events give evidence that it is a school. The halls say, "Yes, children live here, they are home now, but they’ll be back." The halls hold the goings-on, saying, "The teachers are exhausted, and so had to go refill themselves on beach days and time to reflect and professional development and books about the newest trends in education."  As I walked the halls I ran into two people who I dearly treasure. We were able to talk in person, without distraction and it was such a treat. We had no clocks to tell us it was time to stop, no needs except to see each other and share a few minutes. I would have missed them entirely if I had sat at my computer. Being in person is vital.

Later that week I headed to the shore.  I saw family and cousins that I hadn’t seen in so long, some in almost a year!  We sat and rocked on the front porch that gathers us all in when we return each year - for the last forty-five years!  At some points there must have been 30 people sleeping in that house! Now we come together briefly. We sit and rock and gaze out at the ocean and share stories and laughs and food and drinks. There are never enough seats, only about 8 rocking chairs, but when more people show up,  they sit on the long front steps, a Victorian double-sided staircase that can hold at least twenty more people. The little ones climb over legs and sit on knees and laps and we blow bubbles with them.  Why? Because we all want to be in person. We don’t care how comfortable we are, the comfort is in knowing we are together. We want to be with each other and hear and listen and chat and laugh. All the generations in one place.  Even the teenagers. Being in person keeps us alive.

Last night I was in person at a rally.  I hesitate to even use the word. It was for families who are being separated from loved ones.  It was beautiful to be there. A young high school graduate spoke. A rabbi spoke. A lawyer spoke.  And a politician spoke. And I listened. It was bittersweet to be there, with friends and like-minded people, while thinking of those who can’t be where they want to be.  And I was happy to be there - in person. We all need each other. We need our colleagues. We need our friends. We all need to be with our loved ones and families that hold us dear.  We need to be free to be “in person” - free from the technology that threatens to come between us, free from pseudo-laws that are contrary to natural law, free from the threats that break the bonds we have with each other.  I hope you find time this summer to be in person with those you love. And keep in mind those who can’t be.