the mud

Waiting.  It is something we learn from a very early age.  Wait.  Wait for me.  Wait for your turn.  Wait just a minute.  Wait up.  Then it evolves into waiting for news.  Waiting for a report.  Waiting rooms.  Waiting for graduation.  Waiting until they are grown up.  Waiting until this happens or that doesn't happen. Last week I was waiting for something.  I can't even remember what exactly it was.  I was in the car I think.  And suddenly this peace, excitement, this buzz came over me.  What if...?  What if I get what I want?  What if the news is good?  What if he notices me?  What if she asks me?  What if?  That is the best part of waiting.  We can have the fantasy!  We are all waiting for something.  Let the buzz set in and enjoy the wait. My students were waiting for Christmas.  Starting in late October.  I had one student tell me he was sad. ...

We are SO busy.  We can't breathe.  We can't talk.  We can't think.  We've got so much on our list.  We've got so much to DO.  It's not good.  It's the never-ending tasks that seem to put us into auto-mode, as in automaton, that we can't be creative, we can't be funny, we can't be be generous, we are just pushing through to get through.  But I'm trying.  I'm trying to keep a smile on my face and pretend that we are all under control.  And I see your smiles too.  Just stop.  Please. I was driving through north Philly this week and got stuck.  Behind a trolley.  In rush hour. The traffic light changes.  The trolley doesn't move.  The light changes again.  No one moves.  The light changes AGAIN.  Cars are honking.  Cars are trying to switch lanes and go back.  And then I see the wheelchair being lowered from the trolley car and the woman in it is clutching her bag. The trolley conduc...

Asking for what we need is important.  Asking for what we want is a Christmas tradition.  From the very best Christmas specials, It's a Wonderful Life,  and Miracle on 34th Street,  we are encouraged to ask and ask big - I mean, a House!  Really?  Yes, Virginia, really.   Go for it!  Live Big!  Dream Big! It's Christmas! It's the season of Miracles!  The new Lexus in the driveway - it happens!  All those dreams being dreamed right now, being fulfilled by little elves, from the jewelers at Tiffany's to the Toys-R-Us stock room people.  Dream and keep the dream alive!  Write the list and make it a long one!  What would your fantasy list look like, if money and time were no object?  Go ahead, write it! Even so, we temper our wants and our desires.  My children are not asking for much.  My husband and I are not exchanging gifts this year, so no lists.  Our lists to Santa have evolved into those grown...

Last weekend I was inspired to try to write for 25 days of Christmas.  I had some pretty good ideas.  I just didn't write.  And here we are 5 days later and no writing.  So this morning, in the shower, I thought, maybe 12 days?  12 days of writing?  Is that too much to ask?  I don't think so.  And here's why... Last week was Thanksgiving, co-mingled with lots of pre-Christmas shopping, on Thanksgiving, after Thanksgiving, on cyber Monday and before cyber Monday.  I didn't engage until late on Sunday afternoon, when I thought I might be missing deals.  This year we are on a strict budget.  The kids have every electronic known to man, or at least to adults, or at least to me , and I can't imagine they are in need of one more device or screen.  Toys are pretty much outgrown in this house and we aren't quite into the luxury teenage items, thankfully.  Still, the lists may be lean, but they are a little long.  So I fou...

Promises When I first came to this place over twenty years ago, I think we were engaged.    It seemed odd then to be invited in when we weren’t married yet.   I remember the anxiety I felt as we climbed the mountains and took the hairpin turn.   Would I like it here?   Would they like me?   I slept in the small open bedroom (yes, there is no door) and he slept on the sleeping porch.   I fell in love with the place.   And now we have come back countless times, each time with one more notch, one more step our milestones.   Married.   Married with one child.   Married with two children.   Married but only he went with one child.   Etc. Etc.   Each time different.   Each time magical.   Each time the promise that we will return.     That first year, I never knew.   I never knew that this would be our place.   I never imagined that we would keep coming back.   I imagined it, maybe, b...

We all love Va-cations.  We even look forward to Sta-cations.  We can do all the long list of things that have to get done and that we save for our time at home when there are no extra outside pressures.  The List becomes this dumping ground for all the projects we just can't do on a Saturday because we are at track meets and crew regattas and other sports that take up entirely too much of our Saturday.  Entirely too much.  Like five hours.  How is this a sport?  It's more like Spectator What-Does-Not-Kill-Us-Makes-Us-Stronger.  I'm not getting any fitness in but it's nice to know my kids are fit.  Did I mention that is was 27 degrees Fahrenheit?  That it was Windy.  That I was trying to help write down race times at the track meet and my pencil was frozen to my rigid fingers.  Anyway, that's where the list came in.  I was going to attempt to do all the jobs I hadn't done throughout the year during my five days of spring b...

So it's the middle of a long, long, long, long winter.  Well it's almost the end.  Just for fun, on these last days of our winter retreat, when we snuggle down with books and laptops and are all caught up on paper work and reading and SCANDAL, and are looking forward to spring and summer, let's prepare with a little light shopping.  Just for fun.  Just for us.  Just for shopping.  There is something in the brain that gets a little excited by shopping and all that eye candy out there.  I have written in the past about my grandmothers and how they taught me to shop.  (There was always lunch involved!) It's primal for women.  It's good for us.  It's therapy without price or tears.    From Ballard Designs...  $33 with free monogramming! From Kate Spade... sale price $106.  The image on the link is really cute. From Mecha Chocolate  ... $10 a hidden gem right here in Haddon Township.  (I R...