the mud

I've seen dark times before. Dark times in my career, where I said something to make myself look good when I should have just been listening. Dark times in my health or my children's health or my parents' health, where no one knew what the outcome would be. Dark times in my family, losing a brother. Dark times as a mother, where I thought the kids were making the wrong choices or choosing the wrong friends, and dark times in my marriage, where the situation didn't seem to have a solution. But this time is different. This time feels really dark! And there is no power company coming to turn the lights back on. And it's not just dark in our own homes, it's dark everywhere, some places more than others. We can't just find our way through this dark. We are feeling so much! We have to  feel our way through the dark. And so I am reaching for anything. I claw my way along, grabbing onto the next table-edge to pull myself up, just long enough to catch my breath bef

Every June or July I usually visit the shops down the shore, usually while on vacation and stock up on birthday cards. I love browsing through the cards and finding the ones that make me laugh and will make the recipient laugh too. When I go with Annie, we usually end up having to leave because we make each other laugh so hard and call a little too much attention to ourselves. And some of those card stores are like libraries - you have to be quiet! I buy cards for a handful of people, my sister, my niece, my friend from college, my cousin, and a handful of my aunts - all the summer birthdays. I haven't bought a card for Aunt Doris for a few years now, as she is gone, but I know she's still with me. This year she gave me a very special gift... I know we are all quarantining. I know we can’t hang out with people. I know we aren’t doing all the things we love to do with each other. We are choosing where and when and with whom we spend our precious time. I have to confess that I ha