the mud

Imagine.  Feet in the blocks.  Hands and fingers crisply stretched across the painted line of the track.  Heart loud.  Brain wired.  Eyes focused on the path ahead.  Adrenaline pumping.  Lungs deeply inhaling.  Anticipating the crack of the gun.  Run. No.  False start.  Back to the starting line.  Do it all over again.  I've never actually run a race on a track but I do know that when I'm in the corral for a 5K I'm all adrenaline.  It's an awesome, terrifying feeling.  You have to pace yourself.  You can't go out too fast using all that energy or you won't have any left for the end of the race.  It's all about mind over body.  You have to hold back a little.  We were all set to be far from here now. All set to be well into the race.  But it was a false start.  We are back in the corral waiting, anticipating.   We have a good place - a pillow top bed, a warm shower, a nice pool, a hot tub.  But if we wake up here again - if I see that same alarm clock - I

Thursday afternoon.  8 hours til departure.  The house has a quiet buzz to it.  The kids are 'napping'.  The phones, kindles, ipods, cameras, lanterns, airpumps, everything are all plugged in.  Everyone and everything is charging.  Charging up for an adventure.  The kids need those 'screens' as we call them, they are Digital Natives, a term I heard at a conference this summer.  To not take them would be like taking corn away from Native Americans.  They need them to communicate, to feel connected.  So we are packing them and charging them. I am baking.  The old fashioned stuff that keeps us charged.  Oatmeal cookies with chocolate chips, nuts, and honey.  No Raisins.   There are a minority who don't like raisins, so we give them preference.   We want to keep them happy.  So we are fully charged.  We've got trail food to keep us charged and we are on our way!

Adventures Finding a new way to go to work Walking the side streets Driving to California Escape Seeing things differently New perspective These were my notes.  The things I wanted to say and talk about.  We are leaving soon for a long trip.  Escaping.  I cannot wait.   But right now I hope I can leave some of the anxiety behind and experience each moment.  Right now I'm wondering if I have everything packed.  I do wonder about grizzly bears. I've gotten over carjackings, because really no one wants a minivan with a roof carrier on top with New Jersey tags, it wouldn't make for a quick getaway.  Right now I'm worried about kids who drown in Yosemite.  (Kids, ages 8 and 10)  And wildfires.  But I'm also worried because our son was just diagnosed with allergy-induced asthma.  What's he allergic too?  Grasses, birch trees, dust.  So when your son, let's just say, says "Mom, I'm so tired, I can't go any further,"  and it is on a

I have adopted a pack mentality, which means I am doing the thinking for 5 people.  No, I'm doing the packing for 5 people.  It's actually been going on for weeks.  Everything I see, everything I touch, I think, Should I pack this?  Could I pack this?  You see we are going to California in our MIN.I.VAN, all six of us, for 2 1/2 weeks.  Our destination is our cousin's wedding.  I can't wait.  It will be a trip to remember.  It will be awesome and awe-inspiring.  Stories to tell for decades to come. But right now I have to worry about whether to take a jug of liquid laundry detergent or little packs of dry detergent sorted into sandwich baggies.  Does this sound pathetic?  I know it is, but I also know that if I don't think this way we are going to be living like a bunch of packrat hippies in a VW bus but there won't be any drugs for us to take to obscure the mess in front of our eyes.   And so I've been planning.  Excessively.  Here is a grid graph I dre

The other day Annie and I went out for a run.   Down a tree lined street, a little dog darted out from the door of a house and took off, soon to be followed by the owner, who quickly realized that she'd need her car to chase down this little dog, and soon the dog was followed by Annie and me, the owner in her car, and a driver passing by who knew her assistance was needed as well.   That dog did not know where to go but she had a good idea that she wanted to go! and so just kept going, across this way, coming back again, going around this tree and that.   It took all four of us to corral that dog and even at that, the odds seemed to be against us.  Finally, Lola, the dog was back in her owners car after darting through six yards and giving us all a good run! My mind is like this too.  It's amazing how much coming and going I can do when just sitting still.  If they actually tracked my brain function I'm sure mine would look more like fireworks than a systematic pattern.  

When the kids were babies, I came across a life-saver of a book, "The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer."  I can't find my copy on the bookshelf because I've lent it out and bought it again so many times I lost track.  I don't have babies anymore so I can't justify purchasing another, but sometimes I recall her wise words.  One thing that sticks out is this:  "Working parents should be sure to change their work clothes when they come home from work before picking up the baby."  Her philosophy was that the smells and odors from outside home and the business world were not good and were rather confusing for the baby.   And even the environment clung to your clothes, the stresses and the emotions.  So change.  Well, even now I find myself guilty of not doing this.  I come home from working and someone needs a ride RIGHT NOW and someone needs this and someone needs that and dinner needs to get started and so on.  So I kick off my heels and put on flipflops b

It's August 6 already.  I know I should be thinking about Back To School, but I can't bring myself to do it.  I don't want to let go of summer yet.  And it seems the more school supplies I let in the front door, the closer it really will be.   But while I was out last week, I thought about shopping for back-to-school stuff just to be safe.  I tried, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.  I'm going to be behind the proverbial eight ball on that one.  I've picked up a few things here and there to offset the 100-item lists sent home by teachers on the last day of school.  It's like they want you to know that whatever your teacher this year may have missed will be made up for five times over next year so you better get ready.  I bought a few marble notebooks, because what teacher doesn't love them, and a few packs of pencils, because where would we be without those, and that's about it.  I really want to save everything else for the week that school st

Early this summer I took my car in for what I thought would be a rountine check on tire air pressure, oil, etc.  But the tires had been worn threadbare.  Apparently the mechanic could see the belts coming through!  This is scary.  He also had to flush several of the fluids and a few other things.  Not surprisingly the car is riding extremely well now and I feel much better! It goes for everything in our lives too - With Regular Maintenance we feel much better.  Of course this year I let things go for the sake of the busy-ness that preoccupies our lives, but no more.  When we are running threadbare because we didn't check our own 'tire pressure' so to speak, we really can't go that fast.  We are jeopardizing everything and everyone else around us.  We don't have the energy to go any further.   So I am making a New School Year resolution to do better this year.  I am going to schedule Regular Maintenance checks and keep myself and our house going.  Last weekend I to